My oldest, Ryan (8) has always been in charge.
I figured that was his birthright. His dictated birth order status. His bossy destiny.
He has ruled his kingdom of brothers.
Without incident.
Without serious rebellion.
Until recently…
Rhett (3) has started his own country. In his world, he is in charge. Anyone who thinks otherwise is ordered out of his presence and told in no uncertain terms WHERE they need to go. Quickly...oh, and loudly. And if they don’t then there is war and tantrums.*
*Coincidentally? Rhett and his country are currently in their room due to his world colliding with others…
Reid (6) is Switzerland and just goes and takes a nap until the countries surrounding him settle into grumpy peace agreements.
Each country is battling over Switzerland’s land because their own borders aren’t budging.
Ever.
Even if sent to a time-out.
Even if their DS is confiscated.
Even if their allowance is pilfered.
Thankfully to this point Switzerland has been napping through the unrest.
Switzerland’s mommy is considering purchasing Switzerland earplugs in an attempt at world peace.
As for the other countries?
Mommy might just purchase an extra pair of earplugs for herself.
Even though I carry my camera everywhere and capture every waking moment of my three boys’ lives, I continually lament that I don’t have photos with all three of them.
I usually don’t have the strength to undertake such a feat…
Three boys in one picture.
Looking at the camera.
Smiling.
The impossible dream.
A few weeks ago the boys were all sitting at the park on the same bench.
And no violence had ensued.
So I reached for my camera…
…and took 25 pictures.
And yes, the one in the middle was the best one.
And yes, I need to learn photoshop.
Last week my two older boys were in a daily morning summer camp so it was just Rhett and I on the town. On Wednesday we were meeting some friends at the park so we went a little early with a large bag of old bread to feed the ducks before play commenced.
Quite honestly I was pretty proud of myself for getting us to the park early and not forgetting the bread.
Rhett started tossing the bread to the ducks.
The ducks looked in our direction.
The ducks examined our offering.
The ducks deemed it not good enough.
The ducks walked away.
Great, ducks with an attitude.
Rhett ran around trying to force-feed them for awhile much to their disgust and I ended up taking a nearly full bag of bread back to the car.
The next day after we dropped the older boys off at camp again I looked down on the minivan floor and saw the bread. I decided we would go to a different park where the ducks might be hungrier…and more appreciative.
On the way to park #2 I was driving on a six lane divided road which came to a complete stop.
What?
Make way for ducklings…a mother duck and two ducklings stopped traffic on both sides of the road to cross to the other side.
*insert modified chicken joke here*
Well, to clarify, there was a lady who risked her life to get those ducks across the street.
It was a impromptu duck parade right through the middle of town.
So, we get to the second park and the ducks RAN TO THE CAR TO GREET US.
Finally, some grateful ducks.
Rhett was delighted. He tore small pieces off of pieces of bread, hot dog buns and old toast.
He threw them high.
He threw them low.
He giggled when he hit the duck beak target.
And then the duck mood changed…
What?
The ducks turned and started running AWAY from us.
The ducks were running away from us.
The ducks were running toward a lady who had come to the park with corn kernels.
And we were left holding a nearly empty bag of bread.
Ingrates.
Monday. Monday. Potluck Monday.
And now for the feature without a button or a name, but we are calling it:
Fashion tips from Rhett:
Rhett suggests for the summer season bringing back the Christmas Pageant look - dressing like Joseph poolside promises to be BIG this season.
Let’s find out who is the Peep of the Week!
In response to my boys running away toting candy -
Easter candy? I can see why they are running away if there is still Easter candy left over.
Congratulations Joe in Vegas. You are Peep of the Week! Look to the right to see what Joe is up to this week.
Dog and cat free to good home - take them while they don’t stink
This weekend I decided to clean out the dog house, the dog and the cat’s litter box.
It has been awhile.
It was very ewwww-y.
I cleaned out the dog house and threw away everything the dog had touched in the last 3 months.
Found a dead mouse.
Nice.
Then I washed the dog. Then put the dog out to dry before she returned to her sparkling clean dog house with the new bed.
I then tackled the litter box which is in a portion of our garage.
OK, let me just mention the litter box gets scooped all the time, but a major cleaning hasn’t happened for months.It was very ewwww-y.
I then threw out everything the cat had touched in the last 3 months.
Found a dead mouse.
Nice.
Oh, it didn’t appear that the cat had actually KILLED the mouse. It appeared that the mouse had died of old age after a comfortable life living in the cat’s scratching post.
Yes, the mouse lived in the cat’s scratching post.
Worthless cat.
They are so lucky they are cute.
Holly presents her…
*applause*
Today’s advice is two-fold.
Whoo hoo! A two for one right here at June Cleaver Nirvana.
And BOTH have to do with TV shows.
1. My advice to the Law & Order: Criminal Intent–the episodes with Jeff Goldblum producers/directors: STOP already with the over-quirky characters. I know ya’ll think that we love Vincent d’orofino because he is all quirked up, but that isn’t true. I love him because he is brilliantly flawed and all the characters that surround him tend to BALANCE his psychosis. This is NOT happening on the Jeff Goldblum episodes. Everyone in the show is crazy and rolling their eyes at his character and nothing particularly brilliant has come out of him that couldn’t have come out WITHOUT him.
2. My advice to The Apprentice: Watch an episode of The Apprentice: UK on BBCA then watch an episode of the US’ The Apprentice. Alrighty, did ya notice that you wanted to fast forward through the US version, yet the UK version was compelling? Would that have something to do with most the US episodes being TWICE AS LONG AS THEY SHOULD BE BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE DRAGGED OUT FOR TWO HOURS? I have given up on the US version, but addicted by the BBC one. Kinda reminds me of the whole Changing Rooms vs. Trading Spaces situation.
Short TV=good TV.*
*you can quote me on that.
Hmmm…let me get up and look. One apple, three bananas and a TV remote….wonder for which TV?
Oh! One more cool thing that I LOVE - I installed TweetBoard on both June Cleaver Nirvana and Burb Mom - look to your left and see the little green tabby thing? If you click on it, it takes you to Texasholly’s tweets and you can respond right there in nested comments (kinda like PLURK!) it is pretty cool stuff.
Check it out.
Dry.
Wet.
Dry.
Wet.
Rarely dry.
Wetter.
Never dry.
Wettest.
I am over at A Southern Fairytale today.
AND in honor of Rachel’s foodie brilliance…I posted a recipe.
*duck and run*
I know.
I don’t cook…but when I do it is EASY and YUMMY.
Here is a little preview:
Click here for Texasholly’s Cheeseburger Runzas with BONUS Cinnamon Rolls.
I am a huge fan of play-doh.
I love the fun.
I love the creative process.
I love the smell…
Except I distinctly remember that it smelled MUCH better in the 1970s, but it still smells good. So good that they invented Play-doh perfume*. So good that it is out of stock.
*sigh*
Over the years we have accumulated a lot of the play-doh toys: cookie cutters, rollers, a jig-saw, a farm, a volcano, molds, etc. Over the years we accumulated a lot of play-doh which I would dole out ONE color at a time to my children.
ONE color at a time?
I never really thought about it. It was just how I started doing things when Ryan was little.
Well, recently I noticed that we were down to just a few jars of partially hydrogenated play-doh (I don’t know what that means, but it flows really well).
We had many more toys than actual molding clay.
So, I made the BIG purchase of the 24 color pack at Target the other day.
So many colors, so little time.
The boys wanted to play with more than one color at a time. I wanted to play with more than one color at a time. And so I handed out *gasp* two colors to each boy for a combined play-doh color total of 6.
It was then that Ryan stated (loudly - the loudly is always implied with Ryan):
Don’t mix the colors! It will make the play-doh hard and you won’t be able to play.
What?
You can’t mix the colors, it will ruin the play-doh.
I am going to have a LOT to explain to his future therapist.
*Thanks to Jennifer for letting me know about the perfume. I am hoping they get restocked soon…in the meantime I am going to wear the cologne that smells like glue.
The boys are running away tomorrow.
It will certainly be quiet around here.
Their plan was initially to be implemented today, but they realized they would miss robotic camp in the morning if they were gone.
They have carefully packed: a bucket full of Easter candy, two large bags of chips, a wooden spoon, a sign, a butterfinger bar…
They started to take water and sodas out of the fridge, but I mentioned that they might get warm by tomorrow afternoon.
They have located a fire engine sleeping bag, a snoopy sleeping bag and several connecting tunnels that will be their shelter. They are sure to need the blue and white blanket, Teddy, elephant, a folded blanket and an unfolded blanket - both green.
They are running away in protest of harsh living conditions.
And to eat candy.
All the candy we want!
At first it was going to be only the two older boys.
Camping isn’t for babies!
But then I hinted that they might encounter bugs while camping.
Rhett can come too!
They are going to stay up all night.
They are going to do whatever they want.
They are going to eat lots of candy.
The boys are running away tomorrow.
It certainly will be quiet around here…
Monday.
Oh, Monday…
And now for the feature without a button or a name, but we are calling it:
Fashion tips from Rhett:
Let’s find out who is the Peep of the Week!
In response to my report of riding through tornado warnings at Best Buy -
Going to Best Buy in any weather can be a near death experience…
Congratulations ThreeUnderTwo. I finally figured out how to add an RSS feed in my sidebar in WordPress (I know I am a little slow) so you are the first Peep at the New and Improved Nirvana to get the Full Peep Treatment. Please look to the right and bask in the words of Lit and Laundry…
You are Either a Nap Person or Not a Nap Person
I am a nap person.
Anywhere (although I prefer a nice cushy couch).
Anytime (although I prefer a good 2 hour block).
As long as I have known Blog-Stedman he has never napped.
Except now he works nights…so he has to get sleep when he can. When he works a bunch of nights in a row then there becomes a schedule or normalcy around here. As normal as it gets. It is when he has had a day or two off and then returning to work that night that gets more complicated. He sleeps at night and then tries to sleep some more during the day to “save up” sleep…
Yesterday was one of those days.
He had been napping on the couch for a few hours and got up and APOLOGIZED for sleeping.
APOLOGIZED?
Apologized.
Yep, he apologized for a nap with full justification.
Proving once and for all he is NOT a Nap Person.
Holly presents her…
*applause*
Today’s advice is for bakery owners and managers. I LOVE bread. I am a carboholic. The fresher the bread, the better. I will buy your bread UNLESS you do this:
The end-of-the-plastic-bag-tucked-under-the-sticky-label is one of my biggest pet peeves. Seriously, NO ONE who has EVER done this has then had to OPEN the bread bag or else THAT PERSON would NEVER do it again. Ever. Ever. Ever. What a WASTE of a perfectly good bread bag. What a way to FRUSTRATE a perfectly happy Holly.
My advice to Bakeries Everywhere: Free the end of the plastic bag and sell the loaf.
Hmmm…let me get up and look. One apple, four limes and four bananas.
And last, but not least…here is my submission to the new website Cheer Up Nation:
Go check out the site from the brain of PapaTV and join in the fun.
Whew! I think that potluck was SUPERSIZED. Sorry about the extra calories…
