Holly got ready.
Ready for something she hasn’t done in years.
Holly realized that she had only one pair of jeans that fit well. She had no choice but to go shopping for another pair.
Why has Holly not been jean shopping for years?
Maybe because last time she went shopping for jeans she entered the store as a confident woman and exited the store as a huddled mass yearning to be free of her obvious body disfigurements.
For you see, in non-jean-shopping-life Holly is OK with her body. She is not in love with her shape, but has accepted it and moves on…
Yet for some reason, in jean-shopping-life all that changes.
Holly’s non-jean-shopping THIGHS are OK, but her jean-shopping THIGHS appear like over-stuffed, dimpled sausage.
Holly’s non-jean-shopping WAIST is OK, but her jean-shopping WAIST creates plumber-effect.
In non-jean shopping-life Holly never met a tailor. In jean-shopping-life Holly has never met a pair of jeans that didn’t require a skilled one.
Holly recruited a friend for moral support. Holly wasn’t sure about the morality, but could really use the support.
Soon Holly was back in a dressing room with an ever-growing pile of ill-fitting jeans.
*Hold me*
Just about the time Holly was about to slip into her pre-existing Post-Traumatic Jean Shopping Syndrome, the sales clerk asked her to try on one more pair.
Holly tried on the jeans.
Holly was puzzled.
Something was different.
Very different.
The jeans fit.
*cue the angel choir*
Where did you find these jeans that fit so perfectly?
The men’s department.
Yep.
In jean-shopping-life Holly is a boy.
{ 66 comments… read them below or add one }
I always love you hand drawn drawn pictorals, but you missed the square of “cross dressing Holly”.
You know there has to be a book entitled, “Holly’s Animated Life”. You are working on it, aren’t you?
HAHA hilarious! I have to say, I worked at GAP for 4 years in college,and the Mens Jeans (boot cut baby) wall was always a godsend for crying fitting room women, always. There was a lot of hugging going on back in the fittingrooms.
Hahahahah!
I just had a flash of you sitting at the kitchen table with your markers and Blog Stedman rolling his eyes…
Also, I fear Manic Mommy’s jean-shopping life is in maternity.
I love your singing angels. I think I need that graphic for my blog for the times my children AREN’T beating each other about the head and shoulders.
That’s it…back to men’s jeans it is! They’re usually less pricey, too.
I’m just glad Holly got jeans!
Until I had kids I always wore men’s jeans. When I was a teen they always fit me better than women’s.
I wish that were still true!
The singing angels were classic!
I have never heard of such a thing but I’m going to try it!!! Also, I really think you have a career as an illustrator in your future.
Yay for pictures! And yay for men’s jeans! Although that drawing of the hourglass looks mildly obscene.
That was a great way to start the day (the cartoon, not jean shopping) I really enjoy your blog, this is the first hand drawn one I have seen, I guesss I need to visit your archives. Thanks for the laughs.
That is a riot. Boy jeans rock.
LOL. Work on that book! I have the exact same problem. I’ll try man jeans. Thanks!
Ha ha.. Aren’t sells people great!! My one and only pair of jeans ( that fit) are Lucky boyfriend jeans.They are girls jeans but cut like boys.. I’m not so stick figureish more of a marshmallow shape now..
Dude! (I can call you that now!) I’m totally sorry it took so many tears to figure this one out. But… so glad you are happy now.
I have missed your illustrated posts… : )
I wear Mr. S’s old jeans when we do outside work, or with the cattle. They are super comfortable, and I love them. I say wear whatever is most comfortable and works for you!
I haven’t been here in a while and the place looks GREAT. Clean. Fresh. and great.
Man jeans. Really? I find that so hard to believe…you have such a great figure. Heck I would wear man jeans if I could have your figure too! Embrace it. Tell the world. Oh…yeah…I guess you just did.
me
I love it! I suffer from the same issue but not because I am a skinny board. I am short and short-waisted. Oh well, I am glad you found something!
See – I think that jeans are actually made for pear-shaped women. Because I’m the classic hourglass and have MAJOR struggles. Butt crack hanging out the back? Check. Knees of jeans that apparently hit me in mid-calf? Check. Jeans that have to be hiked up each time I stand up? Check!
I wear mostly men jeans, straight leg boot cut they are worth the choir of angels
Hahaha that was hysterical, thanks for sharing.
I am shaped like a board, too. A BIG FAT BOARD.
I borrow my husband’s jeans lots, but that is because I’m a lazy slattern and not because they fit me well. So now I am very, very jealous.
I LOVE your drawn posts. They are the funniest thigns online.
I love the pictures. I felt I was there with you in horrible jean land
What the heck? Is that allowed? My daughter is shaped like a board. I am so raiding the boy’s section now!
TexasHolly saves the day again! Congratulations on your new jeans.
i have TONS of friends that prefer Men’s Jeans to the awkward fit of womens…
Says A LOT about the design of girl’s jeans, doesn’t it?
I hate jeans shopping too. But for all future such excursions, I will laugh and think of you.
further proof that we were separated at birth.
For me, jean shopping is the new swimsuit shopping. 3 dozen jeans with a side of misery.
Hehe this is brilliant!
Oh I just laughed out load!!
Oh my god, I laughed.
Especially at the bare legs showing from under the dressing room door.
I am a freaking rolling. Holly, you slay me honey!
Your drawings are the greatest thing ever.
And see, being an hour *coughandahalfcough* glass figure, I can’t find jeans that fit that don’t gap in the waist or go too low.
Jeans. the ultimate punk.
Wonderful story!
Great pictures!! He-he. I only have one brand of jeans that I ever wear that fit me. What’s funny is I know some guys that wear girl pants. I think they’re weird…but then again, they’re musicians so I suppose then can get away with ‘em.
I love the illustrations, too cute!
I’m glad you found some jeans thou!
I love how creative you are!
This had me laughing so hard I cried. I often resort to wearing men’s jeans, but always feel like everyone’s gonna mention how much my butt looks like a guy’s! Thanks for sharing your jean-shopping sorrows and joys
WTG. No mo jean-induced trauma! (Hope you bought several pair.)
That’s okay… ’cause in blog world, holly is a goddess. This is like one of my most favoritist (shut-up, it’s totally a word) posts ever.
Too funny! I think we all know too well this experience. You know the very EXPENSIVE (of course) jeans always seem to fit me just fine. Other than the fact that the legs are about a foot too long. We can’t all be a 5′11″ supermodel now can we?
Be warned. Putting your hands in the front pockets, makes your crotch itch. I’ve seen it happen many many times.
I’m so trying that with men’s bathing suits.
Girlfriend I have the same deal! Except reversed! My legs are okay, actually I’d say they’re my best asset. But my stomach/waist? Please look away. And after 4 children? It is like a giant kangaroo pouch, but less furry (not I did not say free of fur, just LESS furry.) And dimply. And stark white because who ever thought that post-partum women will ever get into a 2-piece again? Not this Mama! So, I got the muffin top thang goin on, not pretty. Men’s jeans fit me great because, quite often, men have the giant beer belly with nice little birdy legs to go along with it. Like MEEEEEE!
ROFL @ jill jill’s comment! HA!
Holly has JEANS now! I can’t tell you how many times I wandered over to the men’s section for my jeans… FINALLY some companies are starting to realize that YES, there are some women who require an inseam longer than 32″. WHEW! Old Navy is now my new jeaniest best friend with their 35″ talls. =)
Why didn’t you talk to me about it? I was a retail professional pre-babies. They also make a boyfriend cut/fit, which is technically mens jeans in the womens department.
That was very funny Holly. Finding the right pair of jeans is such a precious moment.
Well, the latest rage is guys wearing our jeans, so why not?
Some of my friends also buy men’s jeans:))) But now you know where to find good jeans next time:))
I’m very happy for Holly. Eternal bliss can be found in a great pair of fitting jeans…no matter where they came from.
I feel ur pain. I happen to be shaped more like a Bartlett pair, so I haven't worn jeans in at least 7 years. Since my youngest was conceived/born.
He actually read this with me & liked it. Elder boy -the beginning of the death of my figure- read it too, and thought it hysterical.
Gotta teach the kid what to expect when he gets out in life.
Thanks & YOU have been Stumbled!
~Raven
Being a man has all the perks! Cheaper hair cuts, cheaper clothes, no monthly visitors, and now better fitting jeans! What’s not to love?
Ha! What a great post! I’m so glad I stumbled on you blog. I’ll be back again soon!