The boys are running away tomorrow.

It will certainly be quiet around here.

Their plan was initially to be implemented today, but they realized they would miss robotic camp in the morning if they were gone.

They have carefully packed:  a bucket full of Easter candy, two large bags of chips, a wooden spoon, a sign, a butterfinger bar…

They started to take water and sodas out of the fridge, but I mentioned that they might get warm by tomorrow afternoon.

They have located a fire engine sleeping bag, a snoopy sleeping bag and several connecting tunnels that will be their shelter.  They are sure to need the blue and white blanket, Teddy, elephant, a folded blanket and an unfolded blanket – both green.

They are running away in protest of harsh living conditions.

And to eat candy.

All the candy we want!

At first it was going to be only the two older boys.

Camping isn’t for babies!

But then I hinted that they might encounter bugs while camping.

Rhett can come too!

They are going to stay up all night.

They are going to do whatever they want.

They are going to eat lots of candy.

The boys are running away tomorrow.

It certainly will be quiet around here…

My boys tolerate my blogging.

When I pull out my camera, they either scream and run or start making faces that they know I won’t photograph.

*sigh*

When I pull out my video camera, their reaction intensifies.

This week I wanted to do a video for the VTech V.Reader as a part of the final week of the VTech Voices blogging extravaganza.

I needed them on board.

I needed them to help.

I decided to let them write the video and then we would film it together.  My idea was to use a Seuss-like rhyme and have them fill in the blanks.

The blanks got a little out of control.

It definitely didn’t turn out like I planned it in my head.

It definitely qualifies as the most violent video ever produced on the behalf of VTech.

I definitely love it.

As the boys have grown and I have tried to give them the opportunity to be more independent.

Independent = not screaming for me every moment of every day.

One of the things that is EXTREMELY helpful in this independence endeavor is the stool.

Because I believe that there is no excuse for ugly ANYTHING, I look at the stool as a work of functioning art.  I walked around the house tonight taking pictures of the stools strewn around my house (most of them are located in bathrooms) just for fun…

I have collected them over the years and find that they boys pick them up and take them where they need them.

It is a form of stool migration.

Which brings me to the point that if you have kids, you can’t have too many stools.

Today I am giving away A STEP STOOL FOR KIDS from Step Stool Supply.

A random comment will be selected to win their choice of a stool from the STEP STOOL SUPPLY Kids Step Stool page with free shipping.

You get a super cute stool to match your decor and less screaming for mommy around the house.

I am simply here to help.

Here is my favorite:

It is easy to enter (please leave a comment for each entry):

• MANDATORY (scary word, eh?) – leave me a comment about one of the crazy things your child has yelled at you (or something you have heard from someone else).
• Tweet/Facebook this contest.
• Subscribe to the June Cleaver Nirvana RSS feed (and/or join my Google Friend Connect).

The contest will end midnight on next Monday, August 2, 2010.  You may tweet/FB once a day if ya wish.

I will contact the winner via email and obtain their contact information for Step Stool Supply who is sponsoring this contest.

Good luck!

We spent the day at the pool (not ours) with a dog (not ours) and it was pretty magical.

Reid(7) and Taffy(dog years) splashed, swam, jumped and fetched for hours.

At first Reid was throwing a ring into the pool for Taffy to fetch.

Then Taffy started dropping a torpedo into the deep end for Reid to fetch.

After fetching the torpedo 25+ times Reid said, “I think Taffy is confused and thinks I am the dog.”

This week with VTech Voices is full of fun.

We are being challenged to come up with a list of ways to encourage kids to read.

If you have been around The Nirvana for any length of time, you know that I have been trying out a few of my own this summer:

• Bribery

• Scheduling reading time

• Threats

(not really me)

Oh, did I NOT mention the threats?

I usually dwell on happier things, so it probably didn’t get much blog attention.  But threats have been part of my summer reading master plan.

The truth is that all the things above can MAKE my kids read which I hope in time fosters the LOVE of reading that I so desperately want for them.

Because when they WANT to read and sneak a book at bedtime, I think it is a beautiful thing…

I am giving away another VTech Animated V. Reader with one book/game cartridge!

To enter:

• Leave a tip on how you encourage your kids to read in the comments below.
• For additional entries you can Tweet and/or Facebook this contest and leave a comment for each below.
• Subscribe to June Cleaver Nirvana RSS feed and leave me a comment ya did (or already do…thanks!).

OK, the REALLY cool thing is that I am giving away one reader + one book here, but I am also picking my top 5 tips and forwarding them on to VTech who will be compiling The Ultimate Tip List for Encouraging Our Kids to Read and one of the featured tipsters (yep, I just used the word tipster) will win a grand prize of a V. Reader and 3 book/game cartridges.

Not to put any additional pressure on your tip or anything.

Don’t worry.

I mean, look at mine above…

I might suggest you stay away from any tips using the word “threatening” ‘cuz I have already submitted that one.

*Contest closes Friday midnight 7/23 and the randomly selected winner for JCN will be notified by email to obtain their contact information to forward on to the good people at VTech who are sponsoring this giveaway.  The five selected tips will be chosen by me and likely will be more funny than informational because that is how I roll around here.*

I truly believe that there aren’t many problems that can’t be solved by a good bath.

It appears that my boys agree.

And if a few bubbles are good, then more must be better.

Yep.  He is standing…

This summer it has been my goal to get all three of my boys reading books regularly so when The MotherHood approached me to be involved in VTech Voices for the new VTech Animated VReader, I excitedly responded…of course.

The Animated VReader is aimed for the 4-7 age crowd and has stories and games to bolster reading ability.  My Rhett is 4 1/2 and a pre-reader.  He loves to be  read to and is obsessed with letters and sounds.  He is an eager participant so I figured this would be something fun we could try out together.

We were sent a VReader which comes with a “book” cartridge that also has one letter arcade-type game and several quiz-type games that relate to the story.  Rhett can push a button to hear the story (he just has to “turn” the pages with an arrow button) or for more advanced readers, the story can be read by the child and difficult words can be pressed for assistance.  There is also a dictionary function that gives the definition of a story word.

For our first VTech Voices assignment, we were to highlight a place that we usually read and explore new places to read.

The most common place in my house that we read is our living room couch.  It is big enough that all the boys can gather around…and everyone can see the pictures.  There is enough light and it has easy access to baskets and baskets full of books.

I caught Rhett quietly listening to the VReader’s What’s That Noise? book and I moved a few toys off the couch and clicked the picture to post.

Since the couch isn’t a super exciting place to read, I wanted to really push the limits of my imagination to come up with another place…exciting and new.  You know, pose him with the VReader in a creative reading environment and snap a picture to blog.

I thought.

And thought.

And thought.

The car.

The park.

The library.

The bookstore.

Everywhere seemed so ordinary.

The porch?

The treehouse?

The pool?

Everywhere seemed to have some issue.

And then in the morning, I entered the kitchen to this:

Rhett didn’t need me to push him into a creative place to read.

He didn’t even need me to clean the kitchen...

Where have you caught your children reading?

I was asked to write this post as a part of the VTech Voices blogging series.  I received the VReader and a stipend for my participation.  As obvious by the picture above, my son’s opinion about the VReader was not coerced in any way.  Had the photo been posed, I would have certainly cleaned up the kitchen.

Check back tomorrow…I will be hosting a 24 hour giveaway for the VTech VReader!

Whoo hoo!

Before I had children, I loved the Laura Numeroff books.

If You Give a Moose a Muffin

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

If You Give  a Pig a Pancake

Now they just hit too close to home to be funny.

My children are the Moose, the Mouse and the Pig.

There is no end to their string of requests.

A big ball of string.

A big ball of never-ending string.

Unlike the Moose, the Mouse and the Pig, there doesn’t seem to be a coherent reason for the next necessity.

If you give a pig a pancake she’ll want some syrup to go with it.

Sequitur.

If you take a boy to the pool to play he will ask for a box on the way home.

Non sequitur.

If you give a mouse a cookie he’s going to ask for a glass of milk.

Sequitur.

If you give a boy a cookie he’s going to ask for 3 more cookies, a trip to the park and a piece of scotch tape.

Very long and winding non sequitur.

That is the root of the problem.  It appears that the Moose, the Mouse and the Pig are more reasonable than my children.

I am raising kids who are less reasonable than fictional barnyard animals.

Lately I have tried preempting the post-offering request:

When we go to the pool, mommy will decide what else we do and where we go and who we see and you will thank your dear mother for the trip to the pool and thank God for such a sweet mother.

When I give you this cookie, that is it.  I would be glad to offer a glass of milk to drink with it, but nothing else.  Not even scotch tape.

The basic problem with the preemptive post-offering request is that I am not as creative as my children and can’t even come close to covering all the crazy demands that they find so important.

So I just say NO.

And they just say WHY.

And I find myself in some crazy explanation why I don’t carry a box of 1000 paperclips in my purse that they need, that we can’t drive to China and that Venus Flytraps don’t usually eat people and aren’t sold at Target so we won’t be buying one today.

And this is where my boys could learn a lesson from the Moose, the Mouse and the Pig:  Reasonable requests are hard to turn down.

Of course you can have syrup with your pancake.

Of course you can have milk with your cookie.

I would need some syrup and milk too.

How can you have pancakes without syrup?

How can you have cookies without milk?

And while we are on the subject of things we can learn from fictional barnyard characters, I would like to point out that the mouse swept the entire house then washed the floors…

Dear Nirvana Reader,
This is a plea for help. I could be beautiful. I am neglected.

I can prove it.

This is my life:

8:00 am:Please don’t make me tell you what meal yesterday the Frito is from.

No one swept me last night.

No one swept me this morning.

10:30 am:Yes, now I am enduring not only REAL food, but faux food as well.

Please notice that the Frito remains. It is like an itch I cannot scratch.

1:15 pm:Great. Smashed goldfish were added from lunch.

And the stickers. I never can be free from the stickers.

4:00:Yes, the wide shot is better to see the real picture of what is happening here. See that marker? Non-washable.

She is insane…3 boys and she buys a non-washable marker?

Do you see what I am dealing with here people?

6:30 pm:Whew. Progress. First time all day that progress is being made.

Toys picked up…well, actually scooted to the adjoining concrete floor (don’t get him started) to make room for the broom…ah, I can feel the joy already.

7:45:This is getting a bit irritating.

The

broom

is

right

here.

Please.

Please use it!

9:00 pm:Are you kidding me? It’s getting quiet around here.

No one loves me. She just walks by. Leaving the broom here is just evil. It is like she is mocking me.

6:15 am:I just spent the whole night dreaming of that broom. Bet she just puts it away and I live like this through another day.

For the love of Frito’s, could you just humor me and pick that ONE up?

Pleadingly,
Holly’s kitchen floor

P.S.  I originally made this plea in March of 2008.  Things haven’t changed much around here except the addition of handfuls of Legos…help.

The boys and I took a little trip to Mimi & Bampa’s house today.  They love visiting their grandparents who shower them with attention, unlimited snacks which include free access to icecream and Beanie Babies.

Beanie Babies.

Mimi’s overwhelming Beanie Baby collection is migrating to my house…three beanies at a time.

This has been going on for awhile and I now have so many that my 1997 self would be proud and planning a prosperous future.  It is just a matter of time before they are worth serious money…

Each boy picked out one to bring home.  Ryan(9) and Rhett(4) made quick decisions to snatch coordinating white tigers.  Reid(7) thought on it for awhile.

It was a big decision.

He finally chose a Beanie Buffalo named Roam.

This is the conversation in the minivan on the way home:

Reid:  (sounding it out) RRRRR. OOOOOOOOO.  MMMM.  Roam!

Reid:  Mommy, do we have an cardboard at home?

Me:  What kind of cardboard do you need?  A box?

Reid:  Yes.  I need to make a helmet for Roam.

Me:  A helmet for your buffalo?

Reid:  Yes.  A Roman helmet.

Ryan:  Roman?

Reid:  Yes.  A Roman helmet for Roam.

Ryan:  That isn’t the same kind of “Roam”, Reid.  This roam is like when you wander around.

*I pause to admire that Ryan knows the difference*

Reid:  I mean like Rome, Prance.

Ryan:  Prance?

Reid:  Is it Prance or France?

Ryan:  *giggling*  I think you mean Rome, France.