I believe that we all can look back and think of a childhood obsession that we were pretty sure would be life changing.

For me, it usually centered around animals.  I remember scrimping and saving to head to the pet store to buy my future BFF.

How happy we were going to be together!

Me and my new newt.

We would experience life with him/her/who knows! perched on my finger.

He/her/who knows! would wait for me to return from school and then the fun could begin.

Oh, happy was the day that the newt was mine.

Newts don’t necessarily meet all expectations, but it was a blissful two months until he raced behind the piano never to be seen again.

Poor newt.

I was pretty sure that the newt void could be filled with a hamster.

Hamsters are cute and furry!

And coincidentally, one of my classmates needed to get rid of one*.

*Now that I am a mom, I expect there is more to THAT story.

So, I bought Rocky the stunt hamster from Victor at school in an epic transaction that included a habitat and hamster ball.

Rocky came with the title stunt hamster, so naturally we wanted to make sure he had an exciting life at our house.  My brother and I built tracks with blocks that allowed the hamster ball to propel in one of two directions.  I cringe now at the memory that the track lead down the flight of stairs…but Rocky was a good sport and didn’t seem to suffer any stunt injuries.

Rocky and I were close, but how close can you be to someone that willy nilly pees in a hamster ball leaving a sticky trail across the living room carpet?

Really, friends don’t do that to each other.

I can’t remember how long Rocky lasted, but he was followed by a few other hamsters, a series of goldfish and then an aquarium.  There was a 5 year stretch where every spare penny I earned went directly to the pet store.

Which is why I totally understand Reid(8).

As a family, we have decided against pets that mom will end up taking care of until boys demonstrate the responsibility required.

No dogs.

No cats.

No hamsters.

No newts {shhh…I probably would give in on the newt}.

Reid has found self-sustaining tiny frogs in their own habitat at the local toy store.  For $24.99 you get two tiny frogs and a years’ worth of food.  Additional years’ worth of food is $3.99.  Supposedly, they are maintenance-free and mighty cute.

By the time he had saved up, they were all out.

More were on order and they put my name on a list to call when the fresh batch of tiny frogs arrive.

So now, at least 10 times a day, I answer the question…

Have the frogs called yet?

Boys.  Boys.  Boys.

I know it is my job to civilize them, but some days that is tough.

Often it appears that they don’t have a willing spirit in favor of civilization.

Every night each boy takes a bath before bed.

Every night I say the same things to each one…

• Wash your hair REALLY well
• Put your clothes in the hamper
• Scrub UNDER YOUR ARMS with soap

Every night after baths I wonder why I don’t just save my breath.

Boys come out of baths with 1/2 dry hair claiming thorough hairwashing.

Boys come out of the bath WITHOUT picking up their dirty clothes.

Boys come out of baths with a stench compounded by non-rinsed soap bubbles.

Putting a car wash-like shower in my laundry room is my only option for solving all three problems.

While we were on vacation, I had a little extra time in the evening {amazing what time avoiding my email and the internet can create}.

Because they were all skiing and heavily involved in activities throughout the day, I took a bit of that time to supervise baths a bit more closely.

I held hairwashing seminars bathside.

I demonstrated the fine art of dirty clothes transportation.

I observed soap application and encouraged scrubbing…

And that is where I noticed a LARGE problem.

One of my boys {who shall remain nameless, but might be pictured above} seemed to clean his entire body well, except he avoided his armpit region completely.

I jumped into action lifting his arm and applying soapy washcloth to pit.

He nearly jumped out of the tub in a fit of laughter.

That tickles!

OK, you do it.

He gingerly took the washcloth laden with soap and gently patted the skin near his shoulder…he nearly jumped out of the tub in a fit of laughter.

That tickles!

This explains so much.

The boy can tickle himself. 

No wonder pit scrubbing has been neglected…now if I can just figure out why the hair and dirty clothes are an issue.

Oh my.

I know.

It has been awhile.

In fact, it has been so long it is almost INTIMIDATING to write on my own blog.

I am so out of practice, that it just seems daunting.

So, I am jumping into it with a little potluck.*

*potlucks are great for writers block and blog neglect

What in the heck has Holly been doing?

Ahhhh…well for 7 glorious days I avoided ALL email and skied, and skied and skied.

Did I mention the days were glorious?

My Texas boys LOVE the snow.

All three of them are good skiers and this was the first year that we could really ski almost anything {that I was willing to go down} with the WHOLE family.  They also were willing to ski most the day with me.

Having three boys SHOULD carry the advantage of constant ski companionship.

My niece and nephew also learned to ski.  My niece was keeping up with the boys in just a few days.  My 3 year old nephew inherited our smallest set of skis and my mad 3 year old ski teaching skillz.

There isn’t anything cuter than a 3 year old on skis.

The week was great and I literally would have just stayed and skied the rest of the season if that was an option.

Next year Reid(8) and I are plotting snowboard lessons.  He was born to snowboard and I am hoping that learning won’t cause the re-emergence of What is Up With Holly’s Coccyx?

Did I mention that I avoided all email for a week?

That part I am trying to block out.  It was awful.  My sincere apologies to anyone trying to get a hold of me during that time…or in the email aftermath.

Stuff Holly Writes Elsewhere:

Over on Quirky Momma, I posted one of our favorite science experiments of all time.  It is a chemical reaction called Frankenstein’s Hand.

Also, today Reid did some easy cartoon drawing that is super simple to do successfully at home.

It is an art activity that is appropriate for a variety of ages and skill levels…really, I promise!

I have continued with my Pinterest obsession, but haven’t completed anything that I can report on today.

If you are interested in adding to my collective All Things Parenting Board where I am looking for parenting resources, encouragement and stories, please leave your Pinterest URL in the comments below and I will add you.

Yep, it is time to find out What is in Holly’s Fruit bowl!

• A frightening lack of fruit

Happy Monday everyone!  May you avoid your email without consequences…

June Cleaver Nirvana is on a snow holiday and will resume normal business next week.

In a week without email and internet {intentional}, the only checking in I did was on Epic Mix.

OK, I have been promising this for over a week now.

This was a Quinoa experiment that went VERY WELL.

I made Vegetarian Sliders which is just perfect for that {indoor} January picnic.

This recipe was inspired by two I came across on Pinterest – both used Quinoa and the recipes were very similar.   One was Quinoa Burger from Eating Well…Living Thin and the other was Cheesy Quinoa Cakes from Spoon Fork Bacon.  Both appear on my Recipes I like {already tried} board.

I made a few modifications and turned them into mini sandwiches…because tiny food just tastes better.

Vegetarian Slider Recipe

• 2 c cooked quinoa
• 2/3 c of shredded cheese – I used a white cheddar
• 2/3 c of cottage cheese {can be low fat}
• 1 c carrot grated
• 2 green onions
• 3 eggs
• 3 T flour
• 1/4 t black pepper
• 1/4 t cumin
• 1/4 t salt
• 1/4 t garlic powder
• olive oil for frying

In a mixing bowl, combine the cooked quinoa, cheese, cottage cheese, carrot, onions, eggs, flour, pepper, cumin, salt and garlic powder.

Mix together until it is a sticky mess.

Use a large serving spoon {or small measuring cup} to scoop out a small patty size plop…

…and then flatten them out a bit once they are placed into a pan with oil.

Fry until golden brown.  Mine took about 5 minutes per side.

Add your favorite burger toppings in miniature.

Yum!

These are really good.  I am not just saying that.  We are putting this recipe into family meal rotation.  This was a hit with 2/3 of my kids.  One of those is my very pickiest eater who sat and ate these plain by the handfuls.  Since he is opposed to bread in any fashion, he wasn’t impressed with the cuteness of the slider.

Who doesn’t appreciate the cuteness of the slider??

It is funny.

I am the most opinionated person I know, yet when I write that is not what comes out.

It may be my head saying…don’t split your audience!

It may just be that things that I am emotional about are harder to write.

Either way, this place {my writing home} has turned into a non-controversial haven.

Every silly story has a happy ending!

*insert smiley face here*

A year or so ago I wrote a melancholy piece about what it means to be a mom blogger.  That resulted in my email inbox being filled with concerned friends that I might be losing it.

I wasn’t.

Perkiness is a staple around here and that is good.

So, before I launch into a few thoughts that will NOT end with a happy point, I want to assure you…dear reader…that I am fine and just venting.

*deep breath*

I hate the IRS.

I hate the FTC.

I hate Google.

There.  I said it.

If I go missing tomorrow, please check those three places first.

My hatred of these three staples of modern American online life have ONE root cause – they punish those who play by the rules.

I am a rule follower.  I can’t help it.  If I broke a rule, it was completely unintentional.  Really, my goody-two-shoes is so ingrained it annoys even me.

A few weeks ago, I got a letter from the IRS.

*cringe*

There is no good that can come from a letter from that source.

According to the Government of the United States as enforced by the Internal Revenue Service, I was delinquent in my blog taxes in SUCH AN EXTREME that they were fining me $3,510.00.

Yes, they were FINING me $3,510.00.

That wasn’t what I owed for back taxes.  That was a FINE for my egregious law breaking.

That was the FINE on my company that paid $495 in taxes in 2010 {because of it’s overwhelming success}.

Yes, the fine was 7.0909090909090909090909090909090909090909090909090909090… TIMES what I paid in taxes last year on this little blog enterprise.

OUCH.

Did I file late?

Nope.

Did I file an incomplete return?

Nope.

Did I do it myself and just not fill it out correctly?

Nope.

My accountant filed the tax report on time, but simply on the wrong form.

The IRS is spending its time and resources to come after a mom who used an accountant to file her little blog business’ taxes.

I feel like Google is turning into the IRS.

We didn’t vote anyone in that has control over Google, but there they sit, making “laws”.

Yes, they make laws.

And quite honestly, their punishment is worse than the IRS fine.

If you get caught breaking Google law, then your site gets banned.

What brought on this rant?

Google’s idiotic penalizing of its own Chrome. {That is NOT a no-follow link and I was NOT paid to put it there}.

They aren’t penalizing Chrome.  They are penalizing all bloggers.

What this means is that Google can go after a company that has {follow} links coming from blogs…even if they didn’t ASK for those links.

Even though they have NO control over whether those links exist or whether they are no-follow.

This diminishes the ability for a blogger to make a living online.

Not that it was easy before this ruling.

I have had the same issue with the FTC.  They penalize companies who sponsor posts, but the bloggers don’t disclose the relationship.  Again, the company can send 1000 emails asking for a disclosure to be added to a post, but that doesn’t make it magically appear.  They are being penalized for something out of their control which makes everyone wary of playing on this field.

I don’t talk about it much here, but I run blogger campaigns for companies through Business 2 Blogger.  {again that is a no-follow link, but I do draw a paycheck from the company so I probably am jeopardizing my entire online existence}.

No matter how much I beg or remind another blogger to add a disclosure or make a link no-follow, I am powerless to actually have it happen on behalf of my client.

The bottom line with both the FTC and Google’s policy is that not only are they punishing the rule-followers, they are punishing people who have no power to follow the rules.

The guy that scrapes my site each day isn’t going to change his ways.

The link farms that spam my inbox with enticing offers for $$$ to create a link won’t change their ways.

The one page site that parks on a space one character off of a popular URL won’t change their ways.

The only one that gets caught is me.

And the other rule followers.

It all falls in line with my minivan theory.

I drove a grey minivan for 5 years.  You know, the one that parks next to three identical grey minivans in ANY school or Target parking lot.

The grey minivan has an invisibility cloak over it – who pays attention to yet ANOTHER mom in a grey minivan?

It is invisible to everyone EXCEPT law enforcement.

I was pulled over for speeding more times in my grey minivan than ANY other car I have owned including the bright red one I drive now.

Was I just a wild speeder testing out the power of the minivan?

No.

I think that it was an EASY stop for police.

It was unlikely I was carrying a gun {I do live in Texas, y’all}.

It was unlikely I was going to throw a fit in front of a car load of offspring.

It was unlikely I was going to show up for court to fight the ticket scheduled during carline.

I was easy.

Stopping dangerous criminals is hard.

So go ahead IRS, FTC and Google…pull over the grey minivan.

The world will be much safer tomorrow because of it.

***The perky Holly will return tomorrow and everyone will be relieved to find out that after extensive cajoling and a few tears, the IRS waived the fine.***

One of the roles of motherhood that doesn’t seem to be well defined in parenting books is that of censor.

I guess I expected with three boys I would be a referee and frequently blow the whistle on physical fouls.

It is the frequency in which I have to enforce the code of conduct for verbal infractions that surprises me.

There are the easy calls.

The black and white.

The completely inappropriate.

I know them well and they usually include some sort of potty language…literally, toilet talk.

And in my house the especially clever throw in a reference to one’s hindside for good measure.

Oh the joys of motherhood.

But what about the gray areas?  Where does the rule book start and stop?  What is a mother to do about the current popular childhood rhymes?

1. 2. 3. Barney is my enemy.

I myself have suffered from purple dinosaur hate, so my censorship ruling on this one has been to ignore it.

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe.
Stick a pencil up your nose.
Pull the trigger.
Let it go.
Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe.

OK, I believe the largest infraction here is that it isn’t even clever.  C’mon kids! Show some sense of literary cohesion.  Again, the censor ignores.

Knock.  Knock.
If you don’t play with me.
I will kill your family.

Holy crap!  I am raising serial killers.  And to make it worse, the verse isn’t even catchy.  The censor ruled that the verse was completely inappropriate and a tad bit disturbing.

I was a little frightened when I overheard the last one yesterday.  I watch Law & Order and know where this sing-song extravaganza can lead!

*shudder*

And then my mind wandered to actual nursery rhymes.

And when the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall
And down will come baby cradle and all.

I just feel like the violence in this one is unnecessary.  Why does the bough break?  Why does the cradle need to fall?  The subject matter seems age inappropriate for a baby, but my inner censor would choose to ignore it.

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack jump over the candlestick.

First of all, playing with fire isn’t something we sing about in a positive manner. Secondly, where is Jack’s mother? Because of the scarce availability of completing this encouraged activity in my house, no censorship action is necessary.

Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater,
Had a wife but couldn’t keep her.
Put her in a pumpkin shell,
There he kept her very well.

The only thing clever about Peter seems to be his ability to make adultery, kidnapping and holding a hostage palatable.  I mean, if you substitute basement for pumpkin shell, Peter would be serving a life sentence.  Talk about raising a serial killer. The censor rules that this verse is completely inappropriate and a tad bit disturbing.

After considering the historical context of my kid’s rhymes, it is clear that I should hold off on the censorship as to not quash the updated edition of A Child’s Garden of Verses.

More inappropriate things kids say:

Kids say funny things about marriage

Kids say funny things about world records

Kids say funny things about the library

OK, that might not be the BEST title to entice readers…

…but I am too tired to care.

{OMG!  She is cranky just a mere two weeks into this weekly Monday potluck revival.}

I am just hoping YOU are bringing the energy.

And leaving left-overs.

I am blaming this trio for my fatigue…

I know they look innocent enough, but they have seriously made me believe in naps {for me} over the holidays.

Last week on Wednesday {finally}, they returned to school.

Whew.

Getting back into a routine is good for everyone…especially me.

Many of the hottest pins over the last week have had to do with organization.  I have started collecting a whole bunch of fun ones {I am on Pinterest HERE}.  It has inspired me to do something about my linen/medicine cabinet in the master bedroom.

It isn’t AWFUL, but it isn’t INSPIRING.

Wouldn’t it be awesome to open up a closet and feel inspired?

One of the ideas I really liked was instead of worrying about how perfectly you fold your sheets, you use one of the pillow cases as an envelope to hold the entire set of sheets.

That tip was from Martha Stewart.

And then I went to my linen closet and found that, unlike Martha, I don’t have ENTIRE sets of sheets…I have a mismatched, hodge-podge, hand-me-down, and whatever has survived the years very UNMATCHED un-sets.

In fact, it seems that pillow cases are at a premium in my house.  Most of the available ones are in active rotation.

So, I have come up with something that works better for me.  I hope to post the AFTER a bit later this week.  After I post the quinoa recipe I promised LAST week…

promises, promises.

The other thing I suspect that was a bit different than when Martha re-organized her linen closet is that I threw away many expired medications.

One dated back to 1988.

I am not kidding.

Really.

1988, people.

And that was when it EXPIRED.

No wonder my medicine cabinet wasn’t inspiring…it was expiring.

Weird Creatures at Holly’s House

I have caught two VERY peculiar creatures in my house this week:

This was Reid in the play area of where we get our oil changed.

Yep, I live a glamorous life.

Actually, this Kwik Kar is one of my boys favorite errands because they have a secluded playroom with a bunch of old toys...you know the kind that WE played with as kids.

Reid stuck this on his head and thought he was hysterical.

And a space man.

And this was Rhett.

With MY blanket over his head.

Raiding the fridge.

Pretty scary stuff…

and I am just talking about the fridge contents.

Let’s see what Holly has been up to other places!

This week was all about organization over at Quirky Momma.

I decided awhile back that I needed to get the kids treasures organized.  They were plentiful.  They were things the boys claimed to not be able to live without.

So, we held a treasure auction and then organized the won prized items.  Overall, it has worked really well and given them a place to save new treasures…as long as they have the room.

Alrighty…

This week’s fruit bowl contents are reminiscent to last weeks:

• a 1/4th of bag of Cuties
• one VERY overripe banana
• 3 red apples
• 5 green apples
• an upholstery tack that fell off one of the dining room chairs {STILL not identified}

Happy Monday!  May your day be energized…

I woke up Monday morning with a vision…

…a vision for a string art installation.

I often decorate in my sleep.

The wall above the orange couch has been haunting me for years.  The window is off-center.

Just a little off-center.

Not ENOUGH off-center to be charming.

I have tried multiple picture layouts to try to decrease the obvious off-centeredness, but it didn’t look right.

So when I thought up the string art idea in the middle of the night, I couldn’t wait to get started.

Simple, right?

I drew out the plan to make sure the angle would miss the window.

It did.

When I measured, I was surprised that the height of the wall and the width were the same.  It is a square wall which is perfect for a simple string art pattern.

Each edge was 8′ long.  Each nail was positioned 1/4″ apart.

384 nails on the top.

384 nails on the side.

I used masonry string and found that it came in white, hot pink and this orange caution color.   The rolls each contained 425 feet.  Each roll would wrap 32 nails.

12 rolls.

There is just a few feet shy of a MILE of string on my wall!

Thankfully, by the time I got to the third roll of string, Ryan offered his help.  He and I spent hours looping the string around a nail head and then reaching to give it the other person to do the same.

Back and forth.

And so on.

Even though it took us awhile, the process is very satisfying.  We could see the progress and marvel how straight string lines can create such an amazing curve.

The colors between the rolls varied a bit and then the color is intensified with layering.

In some areas it is a tonal rainbow.

As we neared the floor, Rhett wanted to help.  I was surprised at how much help both Ryan and Rhett could lend.  I would NEVER have finished without them.

We love how it turned out.

And as for me…

I am praying that my next decorating dream is a bit less tedious.

It is officially 2012 and I am throwing a Monday potluck.

It is kinda a resolution.

{It will likely fall to wayside about the third week in January.}

But while I am still enthusiastic about it…

LET’S HAVE A POTLUCK!

We are going to start with a brand, spankin’ new feature for 2012…

Holly is living better through Pinterest?

{The new banners are fancy, eh?}

OK, so against my better judgement a month or so ago, in a weak moment, I joined Pinterest.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the internet’s latest TIME waster, Pinterest is a place where you can share pictures and articles that you like with your friends.  Oh, I know it sounds just like Facebook and Twitter and StumbleUpon and Blog Frog and Instagram {all places I am already sharing pictures and articles that I like with my friends}, but it is HYPER-sharing of creative ideas.

I just FEEL creative and productive while wiling away the hours at Pinterest…

…which is part of the problem.

If I am COLLECTING ideas, but never ACTING on them.  It qualifies as WASTED TIME.

{BUT}

If I am COLLECTING ideas to ACT on them.  Pinterest qualifies as RESEARCH!

So, to justify my new addiction, I am trying out some of the projects I pin and will be reporting back during Monday’s potluck.

Which is a LOVELY way to move into the next question…

Is Quinoa the new black?

It seems like EVERYWHERE I look there is some sort of Quinoa recipe or something that looks yummy that contains Quinoa.

I don’t even know how to pronounce it.

OK, in case anyone ever asks me to read this aloud {very unlikely}, this is how you pronounce quinoa:

I know!

Usually you come by here and don’t learn a thing!  But we are starting out 2012 different around here!

Anyhoo, I found some fun Quinoa recipes and will be posting a vegetarian slider recipe later this week that was ABSOLUTELY delightful.

And then there is this…

Yes.  That is my lunch today.  All cute and packaged in a Mason jar.

See how much better my life is with Pinterest?

I came across Fat Girl Trapped in a Skinny Body Salad in a Jar post.

It is genius.  You layer the salad dressing on the bottom with dressing-tolerant ingredients and then can store it up to 4 days in the fridge.

And as if ONE new potluck feature wasn’t enough, here is YET another…

Stuff Holly Writes Elsewhere

One of my very favorite projects of all time published last week over at Quirky Momma, How to Build a Lego Table.

Blog-Stedman and I helped Santa out a bit by putting together this IKEA hack to create a Lego table for older kids.  All the tables we found were sized for toddlers…which is weird since toddlers don’t really PLAY with Legos, they EAT them.

The entire process took an afternoon and around $200.  All the plans, supplies and measurements are over at QM.

The boys have spent DAYS playing on it and you wouldn’t even recognize it now because there seems to be an overwhelming amount of traffic in Lego Table Land.

And no matter WHAT the year might be, inquiring minds want to know…

What is in Holly’s Fruit Bowl?

It is a new year.

I just went to the grocery store.

I have aspirations for a healthier 2012 and have a very bountiful fruit bowl today:

• a bag of Cuties
• a bunch of bananas
• red apples
• green apples
• an upholstery tack that fell off one of the dining room chairs {yet unidentified}

Happy Monday!  Go forth and pin with justification.